Love and fear in a time of Covid-19

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Thanks to Yvonne Wallace for posting this reminder on her Facebook feed, which I snapped up as a reminder, because, even as I’m seeing such outpourings of love and gestures of tenderness and concern throughout my community, I’m also feeling some of the most petty feelings I’ve experienced. I tend not to be an envious person, as a rule, but I’m not feeling gracious about my neighbour’s big pile of compost, or people riding dirt bikes on the trails, or a host of other things that aren’t any of my business and I should be able to shake off.

I’m trying to say it out loud, to release it, even though I don’t like seeing this petty part of myself.

My friend Kelly gave me this language to describe how we operate in the world – we can operate from above-the-line, or below-the-line – meaning, in our integrity, from a place of wholeness, or from our fear and scarcity and a place of woundedness.

I am circling around all the positives and potential and possibilities in this Covid-19 crisis we are in the midst of. But, all my below-the-line fears and insecurities have been triggered, at the same time. All the things I haven’t processed or addressed or healed or integrated, are popping their heads up, into the mix.

Because, one of the things I’m finding tricky right now, is not knowing what is the right way forwards. I don’t even know which direction forward is at the moment.

I am grateful for this time, this abundance of time, without anywhere to be, anytime soon, and for the chance it gives me to acknowledge the hidden lurking stuff and maybe give it a bit of my attention, my acknowledgement, ask the hurts what they need to heal up…

But I appreciated this little facebook meme especially today, “more love, not less.”

If someone is panicking, they’re scared. If someone is rambling off news headlines, they’re scared. If someone is angry, they’re scared. If someone is judging how many groceries others are buying, they’re scared. If someone is buying all the toilet paper, they’re scared. Like a child, when someone is scared, they deserve more love – not less. Remember love. Remember we all have the capacity for it, and remember that it is endless. More love, not less. 

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