Sometimes (often, and most frequently when Child is behaving badly, not listening to me, refusing to eat anything other than instant noodles, crying), I wonder how I measure up as a mother…

Add to this underlying not-sure-ness, there is a birthday around the corner, and I so naturally, thanks internet, started scanning Pinterest (MISTAKE!) for birthday party themed ideas (WARNING WARNING MISTAKE!) and I was confronted powerfully by how far I fall short in the crafting, entertaining, cooking and party-hosting world.

Term 2 report cards are being readied by local teachers. And I will read that information and want some context – like, “how does this compare to the other kids?” How is he actually doing? (Therefore: How am I doing?)

I acknowledge this underbelly. The hum beneath my days.

Also, immense gratitude to:

• moms who keep it real and share the disasters and struggles and funny bits
• friends who say “we just want to come for a playdate, we’ll bring our own snacks, don’t even dare make some kind of pinterest thing. Let’s just do it.”
• friends who say, this parenting thing is basically ridiculous, and we should not take the burden of all their bad behaviour but should definitely take credit for the good, haha, we rule and the kids will be fine
• report cards that no longer mark on a bell curve because honestly, it’s not relevant how any person compares to the other people in their immediate vicinity
• cheesy inspirational memes shared via Facebook that almost bring me to my knees.