At workout the other morning, a newcomer to Pemberton said she had driven from Pemberton to Vancouver and back the previous day. She wondered if there was a name for that. We decided there wasn’t so I have taken on the task of naming a few common occurrences that Pembertonians might recognize, starting with the one to which she referred:
Vancurrence–noun– the act of completing a return trip from Pemberton to Vancouver in one day. ex: I had a leisurely vancurrence yesterday-just stopped in Squamish for a coffee.
Voomerang–verb -to complete a return trip from Pemberton to Vancouver in a morning or afternoon. ex: I voomeranged out to the city and got back before lunch.
Abominametion–noun-the look of “I’m biting down hard on a raw potato to keep from reacting explosively to your use of the name Pemby for Pemberton” that blanches the face of one particular group of longtime locals. ex: I felt a wave of abominametion flood my face when asked, “You live in Pemby?”
Instavate–noun-the time it takes a longtime local to correct you when you innocently say you are heading “down” the Pemberton Meadows while pointing north. ex: In an instavate, she corrected my error in discerning “up” from “down.”
Condescendavation (it’s a long word, but so is the explanation)-noun-the name for the previous analogy. ex: You know the Lilloet River? It flows down the Meadows to town. Cause water flows down, riiiight? So if you go towards the source of the Lilloet you’re going up and if you go with the water you’re going down… so went her long winded condescendavation about how to tell up from down.
Bewildavation–noun– The confusion following this not so subtle lesson in topographical logic. ex: My bewildavation following her condesendavtion lasted much longer than an instavate.
Currieflurry–noun– Any discussion about the height, breadth or volume of dust rising from a rockslide on Mt Currie. ex: We had a little currieflurry during our workout. Still stinging from a recent condescendavation, Mary noted there was a huge plume of dust visible from way UP the valley.
Currieverberation–noun– the auditory impact of a rockslide on Mt Currie. ex: The currieverberation woke us all at 2:13 on Tuesday evening. It shook the house, I swear.
Oblipique–noun-The little side dipping movement you make to pick up the Pique while holding your bags on your way out of Pemberton Valley Supermarket. ex: I performed a quick oblipique and grabbed the paper.
Postration–noun-The sudden burst of anger you feel when someone parks in front of the post office and you are stuck in the bank parking lot. ex: When I glanced in my rearview mirror, postration infused my body at the sight of the minivan blocking the entrance to the post office.
Postification–noun-the justification you tell to yourself when you park in front of the post office. ex: Well, I just finished a hard workout and there aren’t many cars in the bank lot and I might have a lot of mail cause I haven’t checked in weeks; this was my postification for parking at the curb.
Postrage–noun-the extreme anger felt by those who would never park in front of the post office even if no one was in the bank parking lot. ex: Seething with postrage, I glanced at the driver of the SUV. I was not amused by the expression of postification written all over his face.
No doubt, there are many other common situations lacking proper nomenclature. I challenge all to start a Pemberton dictionary of their own.