“Saturn is actually the biggest ruler breaker of all. This is because its rules do not attempt to serve power. Rather, it tries to define reality despite power.” -Alice Sparkly Kat
For some, it has been so challenging to find ourselves. Because there is no representation. It is hard to find role models who are a reflection of who we are. I am not saying we have no role models. I mean specifically that the patriarchy has made it so that we have little to no representation of what our inside worlds truely are.
It can also be quite scary to try to see ourselves on our own, when we are young and there is no one to see us truely and say “let your true self shine and don’t worry about people’s reactions.” Sometimes it feels like we are living in a world without colour.
For generations not only have we had identity taken away, the colour taken out of our world, we have had messages ingrained into us to be fearful of anything not “normal.” A connection was taken away from us. A very important connection. So when we are told that we are strange, unnatural, not real, those messages sink in to our being. Those messages can wash away our hope to be fully accepted and celebrated for who we are. I hope I don’t sound like this feeling is all the time. Because I know it can be easy to find beauty. However, I believe it is important to highlight the challenges some of us face, when the space is not made for people who want and need space and representation in this world.
I am grateful that I have seen the colour in this world. I have met people who are so beautiful and wonderful and colourful. Living in their own world. Painting those who are not only open, but celebrating our identities.
Sometimes we live our true lives in secret. Painting the black and white in the ways that we can.
I really enjoy writing, and appreciate this space to share who I am and parts of my experience in this universe. In this way I can see and share the beauty of my world. The secrets. The stars. The sun shining through window. Sparking memories of seeing, knowing, and loving another person. I wrote the following about an experience I had with someone. Writing this post has helped me see what the value of the experience was, even though it is gone for now.
In your room I found myself
We were a gift the world could not take
Just for us
A universe with colour
When the morning sun shines through the window
Meeting our souls
I can feel us
I can see us
Love blazing as Dust
Ashes glowing from heat
A saturation (chromatic purity : freedom from dilution with white)
and the two little Suns of our souls
When you feel alone and unknown, I pray you have memories to hold on to, or that one day you will let your light shine through to another who you trust to appreciate you as you are inside.
Kúkstumkacw, All My Relations
“The power of Saturn is that it doesn’t give a fuck what those in power think because it creates its own reality.“
The quotes above are from December horoscopes by Alice Sparkly Kat Astrology, which I highly recommend reading. They have an amazing writing style, and create beautiful posts on their blog and their Instagram: