Don’t blame the lettuce

Contributor Michelle Beks shared this on her instagram this morning, and it struck me as the most fantastic shorthand to potentially diffuse a tough domestic conversation.

“Don’t blame the lettuce.”

What happens if we tend ourselves, and each other, as if we were plants (that we wanted to keep alive?!)

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When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet, if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh