Getting loud requires listeners. So, what to say, when someone gets brave and speaks up?

There you are trying to be present for someone who is struggling.

You think to yourself….what do I say?

Well, thankfully many of us have been in this position. So many, in fact, that Family Smart has put out this handy list of things to say: http://www.familysmart.ca/files/FamilySmart-SAY-WEB-2017.pdf

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• Thick and thin I’ve gotchu

• I’m always here if you need me
• Trust me
• I love you so much! I believe in you
• If you need space have it. But I’ll always be
here to listen
• I’m here for you and we will find you the help
you need
• I’m here to listen
• I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk.
• I care about you
• It’s okay to feel this way
• I will always care!
• I am here for you
• You can talk to me
• I’m here and I care
• I’ll do anything I can to make you feel better
about yourself
• Choose any class you’ll do great
• I am with you
• You’re loved
• I’ll support you in any way I can
• You can
• You can talk to me about anything
• I will always be there for you
• I am here for you
• I care about you
• I’ll always be here for you
• Don’t worry I’m here for you
• I believe you can do it!
• I’m here for you
• You can always talk to me whenever
you need help
• Believe in yourself
• I will listen
• I still love you despite any illness
• I’m here for you
• I’m here if you want to talk
• I’m here to listen and to support
• You can
• I want to hear the good and the bad
• I’m here for you no matter what happens.
I understand
• I’m here for you
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
• You are not your mental illness
• You’re worth it
• I’m sorry, that’s hard
• What you’re feeling is valid. We can work
through it together
• Thank you

• I know its hard but you’ll be okay
• Its okay to feel the way you feel. We’ll get
through this.
• I’m here for you and I validate your feelings/
thoughts
• You have done a fine job, keep going
• Your feelings are valid
• Its going to take time
• You are important and deserve love and
support
• It okay, I know its hard but I’m here for you
• You matter
• I respect your opinion
PRAISE
• You are amazing
• You are awesome
• I’m proud of you!
• Compliments/praise if deserving
• Congratulations
• You look bomb
• You’re beautiful
• You’re a cool guy
• You are genius
• You are smart
• You’re perfect
• You’re beautiful
• You’re generous

OPEN INVITING QUESTIONS

• How are you doing?
• I’m available if you want to talk
• How can I help?
• How was your day?
• Just try to turn your mind off! Just chill!
• Are you stressed out?
• Comforting things
• Its ok no to be ok
• You are different, unique and my lad. Follow
your intentions, be kind. You will do just fine
• I don’t know what to tell you, but I will always
listen and care for you
• What do you need?
• Try journalling
• Do you need help?
• Are you okay?
• What’s wrong?
• Do you want to switch?
• Do you need to talk about it?
• Would you like some advice?
• Lets get help
• How can I help you?
• How can I help make it better?
• Do you want a hug?
• What can I do to help?
• Is there anything I can do to help?
• May I ask…
• Wanna talk about it?
• Want to talk?
• I may not connect but I will listen
• Are you having any trouble with homework?
How can I help?
• Its ok to not be ok sometimes
• I’ll help you find a job
• How can I help you?
• What do you need right now?
• Can I help make you feel better?
• Come talk to me, all will be fine
• I love you
• Say something
• We love you
• Live you life to the fullest
• Believe, There is nothing stopping you
• Give hugs
• Take all the time you need

 

And things to avoid saying: http://www.familysmart.ca/files/FamilySmart-DONT-SAY-WEB-2017.pdf

  • Can you stop being in the pity party?
• You could have done better
• There’s people starving in Africa, your
problems aren’t as big as theirs
• You aren’t actually sad,
you just want to be cool
• You’re faking it aren’t you?
• You’re just being “silly” (it doesn’t matter)
• You’re doing it for attention
• You’ll grow out of it…
• Deal with it! There are people
worse off than you
Just be happy
• If you smile everything will be better
You’re only a kid!
You shouldn’t worry too much
• It’s just because you’re young

 

Now, don’t beat yourself up if you’ve said any of the ‘don’t say’ phrases. Chances are they came out of your mouth with the best intentions ,but take this opportunity to read over the things to say and then let the world know which ones you like and even if you have some to add.

(Don’t forget to tag #GETLOUD and #thewellnessalmanac).

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