Author Archive

Dear Will: Anna Helmer considers what she’d wish she could say to her son should it no longer be possible to tell him anything

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One of the more alarming things about sending The Productivity Impediment off to Kindergarten is that they want you to provide an emergency pack that stays at the school and includes: a change… Continue reading

A wild swerve into federal food policy

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Today on the Wellness Almanac, Anna Helmer’s Creative Non-Fiction Column (so termed in order to avoid being sued), swerves wildly into federal food policy. If the government can’t shout this from the rooftops… Continue reading

This month’s Farm Column is all pictures. Take a look and you’ll see why.

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Too. Busy. To. Write. Instead, Anna offers up some farm pictures for your edification. Farm porn is a thing, you know. And it’s much more family-friendly than it sounds. Kinda nice to immerse… Continue reading

The most tricky thing a cycle commuter has to navigate is not what you think

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As an admitted (you read it here first) Recognition Junkie, I am very fond of road waving. I ride my bike to work most days and I absolutely love that I can get… Continue reading

Farm stories, and oh, that electoral system of ours

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For this edition, I am getting back to the basics of what this column was founded upon: farm stories. Quiet, unassuming farm stories. Simple, clear, lightly sardonic and gently ironic, with a secret… Continue reading

Anna Helmer wonders which Big Issue to take a crack at today

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Well let’s see here. Lately in my Wellness Almanac column I have rather bravely (according to me) looked into certain deep issues including: Trump, coming out, parenting and global food system failures. Here… Continue reading

Farm story does parenting

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Having children, it seems to me, is a golden opportunity to experience a constant sense of pride, freedom and downright celebration of accomplishment. That’s right, and allow me to explain while those without… Continue reading

So, this Trumpocalpyse is starting to feel personal.

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I’ll jump right in. When he was first elected I kinda thought to myself: well, there’s another imperfect democracy for you. Apparently, enough people in the right places felt good enough about him… Continue reading

Got parsnips? #loveyourrootveggies

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Back in the waning days of 2016, Anna Helmer nominated the parsnip for Crop of the Year. I bought a bag of them – my first ever parsnip. I’ve roasted them, chucked them… Continue reading

Anna Helmer’s creative non-fiction column for the New Year: Personal Issues Edition.

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The farmer in winter. Is a mess. She is gaining weight, most notably. She is unproductive, almost concerningly. She has probably created at least one cavity per week in her sugar assaulted teeth.… Continue reading

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